Aight, it's been a good three/four years, therefore I thought it would be best to post a little update.
Firstly, I should be at RTXL the whole weekend, unless something pops up, but I will definitely be there for at least one of the days. Hit me up if you want to hang out, since i'm probably going to be alone 80% of the time (Side note @ Mia; you better show up, otherwise i'm suing).
Secondly, I pretty much remade most of my accounts, so if you need to talk it's best to message me on Twitter (★/★), Tumblr (★) or Discord (★). Thanks!
We're happy to announce that we will once again be participating with Team Rooster Teeth for Extra Life 2017! We can also announce that we will be partnering once again with our friends at RTSTL for this year's stream.
MADHERO: Hey everybody. So September, creepy clowns aside, started of pretty dire. Dire enough to make us join Pennywise in the sewers. At least that's how it seemed sometimes. But with clowns now both at and in the White House, there's hope, cause we actually have a nice amount of movies covering all sorts of subjects.
STICKMAN: Hey everymetroid, I mean body.
LARRY: Ayyyyyyyyyy what a diss
MADHERO: Nothing but respect for the Juggalos cause 2017 is wild. But hey, we've got interesting movies to talk about, but what about the news? Surely nothing major involving one of the biggest franchises in history, right? And surely not something that has already happened ?
STICKMAN: Is it Metroid?
LARRY: Hey Sticky played any games recently?
STICKMAN: Just a bit of inFamous, nothing special.
Star Wars news!! What else is new? Well, apparently the director of Episode 9. Yeah, mere months after the whole controversy surrounding the Han Solo film losing directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the currently untitled third entry in the franchise’s sequel trilogy, originally to be helmed by Jurassic World and Book of Henry director Colin Trevorrow, will now be directed by J. J. Abrams, the man who brought us the sequel trilogy’s first installment, The Force Awakens.
According to sources, Trevorrow “had an egotistical point of view” since his success with Jurassic World, and after Book of Henry’s disastrous word of mouth, producer Kathleen Kennedy finally had an excuse to fire him. Apparently he was being difficult, which feels awfully similar to the Lord and Miller situation. But I guess I’m the only person not over that.
ANYWAY, as rumors ran rampant over who would take over and mere days later, it was later revealed that JJ Abrams would take over duties, leading many to accuse Lucasfilm and Kennedy of taking the easy way out. I’ll admit, giving the job to Abrams is certainly a safe bet, almost too safe; but at this point, I’ll take that before any reality where Trevorrow is directing the film. Many people were hesitant at the company’s original choosing of him way back when, and now fears have somewhat been dissipated, if there’s a silver lining to this. However, it still reeks of Lucasfilms playing things a tad too safe with the franchise as a whole. Either way, we’ll have to wait a little longer to see if this shitstorm resolves itself, as all of this commotion has led to Ep. 9’s release date being pushed from May 2019 to December 2019, with the upcoming Guy Richie-led Aladdin remake taking its place in the calendar. Let’s hope The Last Jedi can get us out of our anti-SW news slump.
MADHERO: Deja vu.
LARRY: Yeah...sadly. Something's going on at Lucasfilm, methinks.
STICKMAN: When you're handling one of the biggest properties in the entire world, it helps to not fuck up this much.
MADHERO: Well I highly doubt they wanted to go through all of this AGAIN! At least this time its before production begins
LARRY: I think we can all agree letting Trevorrow direct 9 was just a bad call. Short-sighted.
STICKMAN: I can't really say that, not having seen what he wanted to do.
LARRY: I said DIRECT, not write. For all I know his script is great.
MADHERO: I'm not so much on the Trevorrow hate train as so many are on Film Twitter, but his rise was insane considering Jurassic World was good, but not spectacularly great. A movie he got after directing one perfectly fine indie.
LARRY: ...I hated JW, so I definitely am on the hate train.
STICKMAN: It was fun, but for me that's as good as Star Wars gets too.
LARRY: Okay but practically speaking, to give Treverrow Ep. 9 after one smash hit?
STICKMAN: Did it for Rogue One. And that worked out fine.
MADHERO: Well I'd definitely put Force Awakens above it, so I'm happy that Abrams is now doing it, even if yeah, its a very safe bet.
STICKMAN: Abrams is a great director but it would of been nice to see a fresh take.
LARRY: Yes, that we can agree on. Kinda wish we got a different director.
STICKMAN: I'm happy but not excited. Not that I would've been anyway.
MADHERO: It makes sense considering the circumstance. Its interesting that they seem to start all over with the script as well.
STICKMAN: Good news for Aladddiinn fans, I guess. Although now we hate that because one white guy's in it. So the whole thing is ruined.
LARRY: Bad news if production needed that time haha
MADHERO: I'm ok with Star Wars being back in December. For some reason that feels right. But hey, Episode IX will probably still be at least ok
STICKMAN: I personally really like Star Wars being at Christmas. It feels right, even if I don't care a huge deal. Feels festive now for some reason. Like with the Harry Potter films.
So, as you may have heard, the remake of IT landed in cinemas just over a week ago now, it garnered a fair amount of hype, and perhaps more surprisingly, mostly glowing reviews from critics. But did that all translate into the most important thing of all for a Hollywood movie....GREENSTACKS? You better believe it did, and then some. We've seen some acclaimed R rated movies hitting mainstream levels of money thanks to the likes of Deadpool paving the way, and Logan continuing the trend. IT may not have quite beaten Deadpool's R Rated opening record, but it's fair to say it made up for it in other areas. It's now *Ahem*:
· the biggest opening for a Stephen King movie,
· the biggest September opening of all time,
· the biggest opening 'Fall' weekend of all time and...oh yeah,
· the biggest Horror movie opening of ALLLLL TIME.
It made $123 Million in its first weekend, which is a staggering amount of money for an R rated horror movie in September of all times. The high audience appreciation has led to strong word of mouth, which is leading into another huge weekend for the film, in the regions of $60 million predicted. That's...pretty impressive, and yes, that sequel that was already coming is now greenlit, and fast-tracked. Can't imagine why. All in all that's...A SCARY GOOD OPENING. AHAH. AHAH. AHO.
LARRY: Kinda shocked this film is as successful as it is.
STICKMAN: Honestly I'm not. People were shitting the bed with excitement from day one. I don't get why, but I expected a lotta money
MADHERO: I'm planning to see it next week because its now such a big deal that I might as well see why that is.
STICKMAN: I may go see it instead of MOOTHHERR since apparently that's a load of old arse.
MADHERO: I'm not surprised its successful. HOW SUCCESSFULL though is a whole other story. 2nd highest R rated opening is pretty crazy.
STICKMAN: Yeah that's true. And biggest horror movie EVER?
LARRY: Okay that's exactly what I said lol
STICKMAN: Quiet you
MADHERO: And hey, it seems to be an actual good movie as well. So good on them. Wonder how the sequel is going to do considering that's going to be adults facing this clown, possibly as a giant spider.
STICKMAN: Woah spoilers. You ruined the spoopy clown movie. I'm never going to the cinema ever again.
MADHERO: Spoiler to a 30 year old book and 27 year old miniseries thing
LARRY: I think there was a response, so it got people in seats. Then people started LIKING IT... like, a LOT, and word of mouth helped get them their box office hoard.
STICKMAN: The initial hype is what got people to see it opening weekend, the word of mouth is what's gonna keep it...ahh...AHHA...AFLOAT for some time to come.
LARRY: God dammit Stix
STICKMAN: I'm a better writer than Stephen King, confirmed.
Sooooooo..... people who read last week's Screwvies know things got a little heated when we discussed Ed Skrein leaving the Hellboy movie following accusations of whitewashing his comic book character, who's half Japanese in the books. Once Skrein had left, Lionsgate and Millennium promised they'd find more appropriate casting for the character of Ben Daimio. And it seems, in relatively short time, they have in the form of Daniel Dae Kim, who to normal people is probably best known for his role in Lost and Hawaii Five-0 (which appropriately, he left after not getting as much as his white co-stars) and to us is best known as JOHNNY GAT, BABY! There's some slight grumblings that Dae Kim is Korean instead of Japanese, but hey, they got a cool actor who's more appropriate for the role, so win-win.
In more Hellboy news, we got our first look at how the red guy looks as played by David Harbour, and he looks.... pretty good. Granted its a still image so there isn't much else to go off of, but Harbour is completely unrecognizable and there's a few differences between him and Ron Perlman's Hellboy, mainly the more square jaw and Undertaker style stringy hair. We'll see how he looks in motion in January 2019, which might not be the best date considering its usually a dumping ground, but we'll see. I love the 2 Del Toro films, but am more than ready to give this new interpretation a chance.
STICKMAN: Ah hell. Boy.
LARRY: God on a roll today, Stix.
STICKMAN: He sure looks like Hellboy. Like, looks good but...I feel the hair was added just to make it different? They probably put the make-up on him and were like SHIT IT'S RON PERLMAN, QUICK ADD SOME DREADS.
MADHERO: Well you gotta do something. Also he isn't wearing those leather pants.
STICKMAN: Damn shame. Coulda gone for some chaps.
MADHERO: Obviously we can only really properly judge it when we see him in motion, but from this one shot he looks great. Plus he'll probably be enhanced a bit with CG and stuff.
LARRY: He looks like...Hellboy. That's all I really want from the design of Hellboy.
STICKMAN: Posssssibly. I'm curious to see what kinda Hellboy movie we get this time. Neil Marshall will nail the visceral violence and the horror, but can he provide the fantasy aspects as good as Del Toro can? I dunnnoooo...
MADHERO: As for Dae Kim as Daimio, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Not necessarily the character, cause I don't know enough about him, but I'm happy to see Dae Kim in more films. Very charismatic guy
STICKMAN: He's a fun character actor yeah. Doesn't actually specifically solve the miscasting but is more in the right direction at least. And a good choice too.
LARRY: I'm sure this will appease the angry masses. And for that, I am happy.
MADHERO: Some day we'll have Johnny Gat the Motion Picture. Some day.......
STICKMAN: Johnny who? I dunno who that is, I knew him from Hawaii Five-O.
MADHERO: That's his Saints Row character
STICKMAN: BUH BUH BABA BAAAA BAAAAA, DUNANANNA NAAAAAA/ Best theme song.
MADHERO: All in all, good news for Hellboy, except for that January release date. That's a little hmmmmmm
LARRY: Oh god.
STICKMAN: January is a good month how many times. It's a good month for births. I hear. Don't be hatin.
The creators of Wallace & Gromit, Chicken Run and old singularity causing friend of the show, Shaun the Sheep released the first full-length trailer for their next feature 'Early Man' this week passed, and whilst it doesn't look awful by any means..it doesn't look...amazing, either? Hrm. Nick Park's first directorial work since 2008's latest W&G short 'A Matter of Loaf and Death', you expect a certain caliber of quality from a guy who's been Oscar nominated for every film he's made, even going up against himself at one point, and whilst Early Man is looking nice enough and has plenty of the Aardman charm, if the trailer didn't set a guy like me alight with anticipation, you do have to wonder what hope anyone else has.
The trailer shows us the lead characters Dug (Eddie The Red Mane) and his faithful...pig...dog...Hog Nob (get it, Hob Nobs? The biscuits? No? Not in America? Okay), along with his entire caveman tribe being invaded by bronze age villain Lord Nooth, played by Tommy Hiddlestone. What follows is a series of slapstick and punnery that seems to result in a game of football between Stone and Bronze Age tribes to decide the fate of the caveman group's home. The trailer was terrible, but that's to be expected for Aardman, who've, with the exception of The Pirates, never been able to make a good trailer for their feature films, so that's not super worrying. What is worrying is just how the voice acting...and the delivery of various jokes and lines seem a bit...forced? I'm a little concerned, I'm sure it'll be good, but I want it to be GREAT. We'll see, I'll see...I'm the only one who cares.
MADHERO: Those are some British ass cavemen and some French ass Romans
LARRY: Not gonna lie, this didn't do a lot for me. Seemed kinda...weak.
STICKMAN: I dunno about weak but it wasn't strong. But maybe that's just the editing.
LARRY: ...okay well. Those words...are opposites...of each other...
MADHERO: I thought it was cute. Nothing spectacular, but servicable.
STICKMAN: Yeah, but it's Aaaardman. I want moooore.
LARRY: The jokes seemed forced to me, and the editing was certainly rushed.
STICKMAN: I think back to the W&G Curse of the Wererabbit trailer which had a similar feel. But ended up really good. So...hopefully?
LARRY: Yeah, sure.
MADHERO: I don't remember those trailers honestly. Could've always gone the Cars 3 route and gone super dark with it.
STICKMAN: Oh man. Just a clip of the dog pig getting savaged in slow motion.
MADHERO: Also its comes out in February in the US. Only problem: its opening against Black Panther
LARRY: HAHA WELP. GOOD GAME
STICKMAN: I think you all know which film's gonna get an EARLY lead. It...it's Black Panther. Lionsgate fucked it. Again.
MADHERO: I did not recognize Tom Hiddleston as the villain BTW. Did recognize Richard Ayoade using his Dean Learner voice and that made me miss Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
STICKMAN: Whoever made this trailer was a FOOL. A FLIPPING FOOL.
MADHERO: If you take away anything from this part, its that you should watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.
STICKMAN: Early Man is actually a Garth Maranghi prequel.
Soooooo.... more X-men shenanigans, cause we can't enough of those. Well, at least this has a somewhat awesome slant to it. Some of you may know Drew Goddard as Joss Whedon's protege, having worked with him as far back as Buffy. After breaking through with Cabin in the Woods, it seems like his next project was to showrun Marvel's Daredevil on Netflix, but he soon left that project to work on Sony's Sinister Six movie, then a part of the Amazing Spider-Man series. When that all fell apart, he drank away his sorrows by getting nominated for an Oscar for screenwriting The Martian together with X-men head honcho Simon Kinberg.
It seems that connection has finally gotten him a gig at a superhero property, as he'll write and direct X-Force, a spin-off of X-men that'll follow Deadpool and Cable (so I guess a spin-off of a spin-off. Woah) as they form a more militant and extremist group of the X-men. Not much is to be said, other than that Joe Carnahan and Ryan Reynolds have already worked out a script, so that plus Goddard means it'll probably follow Deadpool's tone more than the actual books. Its personally hard to get excited over, but Goddard's involvement makes it slightly more interesting.
STICKMAN: Oh boy. More of these things.
MADHERO: Besides the story behind Godard finally doing a superhero thing, I gotta say that I'm honestly bored by these announcements, and I count myself as an X-men fan. It probably doesn't help that I've never ever cared about X-Force.
STICKMAN: Deadpool was fun but he doesn't need to be in every movie ever. Are we going to do a Wolverine And then in 10 years time do a hardcore gritty drama send-off to Deadpool.
LARRY: The only reason I'm excited for this is because of Deadpool's involvement. But then again, if Deadpool 2 sucks, then we're fucked.
MADHERO: It'll still make LOADSAMONEY
STICKMAN: What made Deadpool such a HIT is that it was FRESH AND DARING. Doing like a bunch of spin-offs is like. Oops.
LARRY: Well a dark, extremist X-Men against the good guy X-Men in a later movie could be cool. Just gotta build up to that. But like anti-heroes, not villains.
STICKMAN: I'm bored allreadddy. What's been working for 20th Century is trying different things, Deadpool and Logan were both good stuff, X-Men Apocalypse was by the numbers and shit.
MADHERO: Where's my fun? I want fun, which we'll hopefully get with Goddard and Reynolds writing the script
LARRY: ...okay so you'll get your fun haha. I don't see this being by the numbers. Goddard and Reynolds, Deadpool and Cable involved, I think it could be a lot of fun.
STICKMAN: Give me my hardcore Professor X Rated movie. AhuhAHuhuhuh.
RIP HARRY DEAN STANTON
Sadly, we once again have to pay tribute to an actor who has passed away. Harry Dean Stanton, most well-known for performances in film (Alien, Repo Man, Pretty in Pink) and television (Twin Peaks, Big Love) passed away this past Friday at 91 from natural causes. His long career in media was ever-present, though perhaps you may have missed him. Admittedly, he was not the most prominent name in Hollywood, but what made him such a talent was the ability to transform into every role he was given, with a grit and weathered look that was hard to find in most other actors working in the medium. From dramatic classics like The Green Mile, to action thrillers like Escape From New York, Stanton’s career was one of variety and consistency. Even up until the very year of his passing, he can be seen in Twin Peaks: The Return, reprising his role of Carl Rodd. Needless to say, though you may not have taken note of him, he’s responsible for plenty of performances in some of the most well-known films and tv shows of all time, and for that alone, he will be dearly missed. Condolences to his family and friends during this saddening time. Rest in peace, Harry.
STICKMAN: This is a damn shame.
LARRY: Can't say I really knew him too well as an actor, but his performances are excellent.
MADHERO: Another castmember of the Nostromo gone. This is a guy who's worked up to his 90s and continued to deliver performances till the very end. He was in the Twin Peaks finale not too long ago
STICKMAN: He's got a film coming out this month too. A lot of people we've lost recently had been and gone from the spotlight but this guy never left.
MADHERO: Go watch his performance in Paris, Texas. He has a monologue at the end that's simply wonderful.
LARRY: I just might. I've heard good things.
STICKMAN: And I mean. He was the first person to ever be killed by a Xenomorph. Not including the chestburster. What an honour, y'know? And what an awesome scene.
MADHERO: He made a small bit part of the Avengers also surprisingly memorable.
STICKMAN: Ah yes. He was memorable in pretty much every role he had. Big or small.
MADHERO: "Well son, you've got a condition"
STICKMAN: The fact he's left us so soon after his final role in Twin Peaks feels like surreal enough to be a part of that very show. Except it's not backwards and on fire.
LARRY: He was working up until his death. Says a lot about him.
MADHERO: While he almost never was the lead, you always recognized him and brought something to whatever he was part of. We wish his family and friends nothing but the best. RIP Harry
STICKMAN: Be seeing you, Brett.
MADHERO: Well, we promised some interesting movies, and hopefully we can deliver. From a highly anticipated sequel, a new animated movie and a film that got an F on Cinemascore. So that one should be fun to talk about
STICKMAN: F stands for FANTASTIC. That's the twist. Very spoopy.
MADHERO: Woah. I thought it uses the US Grading system. My mistake I guess. We could talk about that, but lets go for anticipated sequel first.
KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE
DIRECTOR: Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First Class, Kingsman)
STARRING: Taron Egerton, Channing Tatum, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Pedro Pascal
SYNOPSIS: The agents of Kingsman (Egerton, Strong) head to the United States to join forces with Statesman (Tatum, Bridges, Pascal), Kingsman's American counterpart, after Kingsman's headquarters is destroyed by "The Golden Circle".
LARRY: Not sure how to feel about this one.
STICKMAN: Y'know, I want to be excited. But I'm getting the impression this might be a let down.
MADHERO: Aw yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, excited for a Matthew Vaughn sequel. Usually a dangerous game
LARRY: The last sequel wasn't so good.
MADHERO: Well, you see. He didn't direct Kick Ass 2, but he did direct this, and Vaughn hasn't made a bad movie yet, so I'm hoping he works his magic here
STICKMAN: This has had weirdly not much promotion for what should be a big release, and its release kinda jumped about a lot before this point. I'm a little concerned, hopefully that's unfounded, but yeah....muted anticipation .
LARRY: Well yeah you can thank a shitty first trailer for that.
MADHERO: Besides the Sinatra trailer, the trailers haven't done much for me, but I hope that's just cause they're saving their best stuff. The church scene wasn't in the original trailer
STICKMAN: I liked that trailer tbh. But beyond Hallie Berry getting shitfaced at Comic Con, it hasn't really been getting that much attention.
LARRY: Anyone else kinda upset that Firth being alive is just a nonchalant detail in the sequel?
STICKMAN: Well we haven't seen it yet so I can't comment.
LARRY: I mean he's in both trailers.
STICKMAN: Felt inevitable, s'what got bums in seats here in the UK I think. I remember someone in the audience laughing at every line he had.
LARRY: Didn't need to know he was back. But okay, whatever
MADHERO: It looks like fun, and what more do you need
STICKMAN: I want it to great, it looks fun, but I'm bracing myself for disappointment. WE'LL SEE.
THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE
DIRECTOR: Charlie Bean, Paul Fisher, Bob Logan (Tron Uprising)
STARRING: Dave Franco, Justin Theroux, Michael Pena, Kumail Nanjiani, Abbi Jacobson, Zach Woods, Fred Armisen, Jackie Chan, Olivia Munn
SYNOPSIS: The battle for Ninjago City calls to action young Master Builder Lloyd (Frano), aka the Green Ninja. Along with his friends, they must defeat evil warlord Garmadon (Theroux), who also happens to be Lloyd's dad.
LARRY: Aight, THIS is my jam.
MADHERO: Oh....... I guess this is out soonish as well
STICKMAN: Again, dunno what to think. It's a LEGO Movie and the last two have been great. But this is also Ninjago and I have no idea what that is. Also where did this COME FROM. Feels like LEGO Batman came out YESTERDDAAYY.
MADHERO: I really liked the Lego Movie and Lego Batman, but considering I don't really care about Ninjago, this is leaving me really cold.
LARRY: I'm on the opposite end. I didn't know what Ninjago was and this trailer is selling me.
STICKMAN: The animation looks nice as usual, and the action scenes look fun, but the jokes weren't doing it for me in the trailer, and I have no attachment to the franchise sooooo. I'll go see if good reviews probs, but not otherwise. I can guarantee it's gonna try and make you cry cuz all animated films gotta do that now, even ones about LEGO Ninjas.
MADHERO: Like, even the trailers themselves aren't really selling me besides the animation looking nice. Also the voice cast is good, but otherwise I'm rather apathetic towards it.
LARRY: Man I am quite the odd man out today.
STICKMAN: You are an odd man indeed, Larry Fried. I mean, it doesn't look awful. I'd like it to be gooooood, but I'm not excited either.
DIRECTOR: Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Noah)
DIRECTOR: Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Noah)
STARRING: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeifer, Kristin Wiig, Domhnall Gleeson, Brian Gleeson
SYNOPSIS: A young woman's (Lawrence) tranquil life with her husband (Bardem) at their remote country home is challenged by a mysterious couple (Harris, Pfeiffer) who arrive and lodge with them.
STICKMAN: MOOTHHERR, OH GOD, BLOOD. MOOOTHERR.
MADHERO: Ahahahahahaha, Aronofsky you beautiful psycho
LARRY: So. Pumped.
STICKMAN: I guess you could say he has…. a beautiful mind
MADHERO: That's..... not his movie
STICKMAN: Quiet you
LARRY: I'm ready to get fucked up, not gonna lie
STICKMAN: I was ready too but then I heard it's poopy, so I dunno. Critics are polarised, audiences seem to hate it.
MADHERO: So, this advertises itself as some sort of weird horror/thriller with big actors like Javier Bardem and Jennifer Lawrence. BUT SURPRISE, YOU'RE GETTING SOME ARTHOUSE SHIT!
STICKMAN: Apparently it's all style and no direct substance. Gotta MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHAT IT MEANS. Which is arthouse for it means nothing.
LARRY: ...okay ya know Aranofsky is well-known for being very artsy.
MADHERO: Which is why this film has a F Cinemascore. Its divided critics, but audiences are pretty unanimous with their hate
LARRY: What were people actually expecting???
MADHERO: Most people don't even know who Darren Aronofsky is, other than that he's now dating Jennifer Lawrence (which hey, good for him)
STICKMAN: Nicolas Winding Refn is breathing a sigh of relief right now.
MADHERO: I think most people don't like it, being the wise man that I am, is because they were misled into what it was through the marketing, and its a really unpleasant film as well, so y'know, double whammy
STICKMAN: I dunno if I'm down for a film that's both unpleasant and nonsensical. Makes it sound a bit like ERASERHEAD.
LARRY: I'm willing to give this a chance. I wanna see what goes on in the mind of Aranofsky.
MADHERO: Aronofsky is one of my favorite directors, and I think I might be ready now that I know what I'm getting into (well, vaguely).
DIRECTOR: Michael Cuesta (Roadie, Kill the Messenger)
STARRING: Dylan O’Brien, Michael Keaton, Sanaa Lathan, Taylor Kitsch
SYNOPSIS: Mitch Rapp (O'Brien) lost his girlfriend to a terrorist attack just as they were engaged. Seeking revenge, he is enlisted and trained by Cold War veteran Stan Hurley (Keaton). Together they will stop a mysterious operative, nicknamed "Ghost" (Kitsch), intent on starting a world war in the Middle East.
STCKMAN: And now we're into bland action movie territory.
MADHERO: I've seen this described as The Bourne Brotilmatum. Also its really weird to see the Maze Runner kid all grown up and shit.
STICKMAN: Oh dear.
LARRY: ...I mean, if I were to go see this for any reason, it would be Michael Keaton. Otherwise, bleh.
MADHERO: Its like..... as an foreigner, despite also having an American passport but that's an whole other story, seeing this type of weird patriotism that translates into I'LL GO KILL ALL THE TERRORISTS BRAH is just..... really gross?
LARRY: Fair point.
MADHERO: American patriotism as translated into disposable action films always kinda bug me, but that's just me.
STICKMAN: This film will fall into the abyss of bland action thrillers. Especially the abyss of sub par Bourne-clones. Much like Jason Bourne did.
MADHERO: Anyway this movie looks meh. Apparently there's like 15 of these books, so I can't wait for American Assassin goes Hawaiian
STICKMAN: Fuck me sideways
MADHERO: I'd rather not
DIRECTOR: Simon Verhoeven (Männerherzen)
STARRING: Alycia Debnam-Carey, William Moseley, Connor Paolo, Brit Morgan, Liesl Ahlers
SYNOPSIS: A popular college student (Debham-Carey) graciously accepts a social outcast's (Ahlers) online friend request, but soon finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.
MADHERO: This feels like a movie I've already talked about a million times already and yet only now is coming out.
LARRY: Honestly, Unfriended looked kinda dumb. THIS looks REEEEEALLLY DUMB. We're kinda on a downward spiral.
STICKMAN: Came out in April here, as it turns out. Which is why it looks so familiar.
MADHERO: Can't all be winners. This has been pushed back a bunch of times, and now here we are.
LARRY: Looks like it's chasing a new "social media horror" trend that wasn't even a trend. And it looks stupid.
STICKMAN: It's just laughably bad looking. To the point where it's almost tempting to see it.
MADHERO: It does seem like a fun thing to watch while drunk
LARRY: Nah, I'm saving that laughably bad ticket for Happy Death Day. This can kiss my ass.
STICKMAN: You'd need to be off your face to enjoy it, I think. That's a risk I'm willing to take.
MADHERO: I can't wait for the horror film featuring the dancing hot dog
BATTLE OF THE SEXES
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Haris (Little Miss Sunshine, Ruby Sparks)
STARRING: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough, Sarah Silverman, Alan Cumming, Bill Pullman
SYNOPSIS: The true story of the 1973 tennis match between World number one Billie Jean King (Stone) and ex-champ and serial hustler Bobby Riggs (Carell).
LARRY: Ah. Oscar season truly has begun.
MADHERO: O hey, Steve Carell/Emma Stone reunion. That's neat.
STICKMAN: Sports Biopic Comedy Drama. What a time to be alive.
LARRY: That's a mouthful
STICKMAN: It sure exists. And predictably for an Oscar Baiting BIOPIC, it's insanely SERVICEABLE. And doesn't suck but also isn’t great either.
LARRY: With these two headlining it you'd expect a lot of buzz. This seems to be flying below the radar for most.
MADHERO: Reports from festivals seem to suggest its probably not going to get Oscars, but ultimately a ok and good movie, which is fine by me since its made by the directors behind Little MIss Sunshine
STICKMAN: It's a shame we don't get more exceptional biopics because when they click together, it can be magic. Just need Aaron Sorkin on board. Then you're set.
LARRY: I mean there are plenty of other biopics the year has to offer.
MADHERO: Apparently the Borg/McEnroe movie is also about servicable, so I guess we won't be seeing anymore tennis movies.
STICKMAN: Did you just make a pun.
MADHERO: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. Anyway, that about wraps up our movie section, but we ain't done just yet, cause now its time for MOVIE OF THE WEEK!
STICKMAN: New balls please. Also WOOAOAOAAAHHHH
MADHERO: I'd LOVE to, but I have to drop a DEUCE first, and do this part of the show.
STICKMAN: Don't you meeaaaaann DCEUs. Since...you're doing...y'know...
LARRY: Ohhhhhh snap Stix.
STICKMAN: I know, I know. I'm a scamp.
MOVIE OF THE WEEK
MADHERO: So speaking of the DCEU..... god what a fucking amirite? But hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day, and in this case its Wonder Woman. Now I did not see this film in theaters despite all the positive reviews and hype surrounding it, if only cause it came out a month after the US release and by then I was kinda done hearing about it. But hey, we're here now, it was the most successfull movie of the summer, and wouldn't you know, its actually pretty good.
Now I don't think its great (the fact WB is considering an Oscar campaign seems weird) but I gotta say I'm impressed. Essentially a fusion between Thor and the first Captain America, what really helps this movie is how Gal Gadot absolutely nails this role. You buy her as both a Amazonian warrior as well as a genuinely kind person. Its so refreshing to see a superhero do good things simply because she's good and wants to help. Its what Superman should've been instead of what they went with. Its a bit too long, and the ending battle is kinda boring and disappointing, but I had a genuinely good time with it, and its good to say that with a DCEU film.
LARRY: Yeah so this is a solid romp.
STICKMAN: WB are giving it an Oscar campaign because they're riding the good faith as far as it'll take them before Justice League brings them crashing back down, no doubt. I have yet to see it, skipped it at the cinema due to lack of DC faith, but I'll check it out on DVD when it lands here in a couple weeks.
LARRY: Eh, let them have their fun. Eventually it'll be a futile cause and we can all get back on the DC hate-train.
MADHERO: O definitely, but I can see why they're riding this wave, cause its a big kahuna or whatever surf lingo uses to describe big waves.
LARRY: Yes, it's a success no matter how you slice it...unlessyou'retalkingaboutthethirdactbutwhatever. And hey, Gadot AND Jenkins are both signed on for the sequel so, hip hip hooray.
STICKMAN: No spoilers DUDE. I want to watch the perfectly decent but overhyped comic book movie without those sick spoilers.
MADHERO: The 3rd act is definitely the weakest part. My favorite was probably them in Themyscira cause Robin Wright is such a fucking badass. And its funny, I never thought Gadot was that good a actress, but she really does turn into Wonder Woman in this film.
LARRY: Yes she has a conviction that impressed me.
STICKMAN: So that's it huh, she's some kinda...Wonder Woman.
LARRY: But also give some credit to Chris Pine. He's giving a career high-point here.(edited)
MADHERO: They have great chemistry, yeah. He's really good as well. Maybe not career high (that's Hell or High Water) but its up there. Anyway, what's your Movie of the Week, Sticky?
STICKMAN: HooOOoo, WELLLLLL. I spent all my money on Metroid this week so I didn't make it to the cinema to see one of the many DRASTICALLY VARYING IN QUALITY MOVIES currently available, but I did catch up on a film I missed out on earlier in the year on the ol' rental shebang, and that film was Colossal...which whilst far from a COLOSSAL SUCCESSSSSSS ahOOoOooo, was still pretty good.
Basically, Anne Hathaway is an alcoholic party girl who gets dumped by Mr InEverythingRightNow and returns to her quaint childhood town to rethink her life plans. Slight catch though, there's a giant fucking monster destroying South Korea. And SOOMEHOOOWWW, the two things are connected, and the hows and whys? If you really care about those, I'd give this film a pass because it does a pretty crappy job of explaining the details. What it does do, however, is offer a fun and unique spin on both the human dramatic exploits of the film, and the kaiju tropes we've come to see in many recent blockbusters. The film is part dark comedy, part drama, part...monster movie...I guess. It's uneven and only really finds its footing in the last act, but it's entertaining and enjoyable throughout, with some fun creature designs and memorable, creative sequences. I didn't think it was the best thing ever, but I had fun with it, so that's pretty GOOD.
LARRY: So I liked this film, though it's certainly an oddity. When I finished it my first time through, I honestly add no words to describe it.
MADHERO: I haven't seen this movie yet, but I think its probably for the best it doesn't explain how those things are connected, cause any explanation is going to be fucking stupider than the actual things
STICKMAN: Well the problem is it kinda attempts to explain some aspects but maybe not the parts worth explaining.
LARRY: Well okay it kiiiiiiiiiiinda gives reasons for things but the reasons are stupid and one of the few elements that holds the film back. Like there's two shots in particular that annoy the shit out of me. Because they give an explanation for something that makes it even MORE unrealistic.
STICKMAN: Also it's not a particularly funny comedy, and there's also a character shift that seems sudden and drastic.
MADHERO: Anywaaaaaaaaay, it does look like one of those films that's up my alley. Reminds me a bit of The Voices with Ryan Reynolds. A movie I may not love, but respect for being so bonkers
STICKMAN: It's not quite as sinister as that, from what I recall you saying. But it's pretty dark at times.
LARRY: Hathaway and Sudeikis are great in the film as the two leads. And the CGI is excellent considering the budget. And there are some genuinely funny moments.
STICKMAN: I really enjoyed the last sequence though, even if there's one massive plot hole it just ignores but HEY HO.
MADHERO: Well I'll see for myself, cause I'll definitely check this movie out soon enough.
STICKMAN: You do that, HEY LARRY. WHAT SHIT YOU WATCH. Bet....IT...was something...terrible.
LARRY: Now, we’ve established loud and clear that I am NOT a fan of horror films usually. I tend to stay away from the genre for a variety of reasons, oneofwhichbeingthatIamacolossalwuss BUT NORMALLY it’s because jump scares and gore just isn’t my thing. But, after hearing about all of this hubbub regarding the remake of Stephen King’s “IT”, I figured that it was about time I saddle up and take it for a spin. Believe it or not, I found myself enjoying it.
I find the original mini-series to be incredibly cheesy, and thus outdated, so I was originally taken aback by how cheesy this film tends to be as well. In fact, almost the entirety of the first act’s scares were funnier to me than terrifying. But, unlike the original, the cheese does not hold this film back, in fact it is this humor that gives it a playfulness and energy that keeps it moving from set piece to set piece. It also helps that there are some genuinely scary moments, mostly stemming from the interpersonal relationships of the children, who are all excellent and charming as hell. But it also helps that our new Pennywise, Bill Skarsgard, is killing it in this career-defining performance; his voice is kinda terrible (now you know why he didn’t talk in the marketing), but his presence and design far surpass this issue. By the time the second half is in full swing, it’s one hell of a ride that becomes genuinely disturbing, and I really enjoyed it. It’s Stand By Me meets Nightmare on Elm Street, and that alone should sell you.
MADHERO: BEEP BEEP, LARRY LIKES A HORROR MOVIE
LARRY: CRAZY I KNOW
STICKMAN: Glad you quit CLOWNIN around and went and saw one this year.
MADHERO: It really is a big phenomenon, so I understand you wanting to see what the big deal was. Being the wuss that you are? How scary did you find it? And how many times did you jump at a jumpscare
STICKMAN: I haven't seen this and don't really have much interest, and I hear this is also more of a buddy romp than a horror film in most respects, but the popularity makes it feel somewhat required viewing somewhat.
LARRY: As I said, I was laughing more than I was scared. Perhaps that's a coping mechanism, but there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments, including a certain scene involving blood and a bathroom shown in trailers. As far as jump-scares, most of them weren't anything special, but there's one that really got me.
STICKMAN: Jump scares aren't scaaary they're just looooud. They can be fun though in moderation.
LARRY: There's one that is genuinely great. Mostly because the best jump scares actually involve something happening and not just a fakeout.
MADHERO: Iiiiiiiiinteresting. I do like how it isn't just a full on frightfest, but its definitely something I have to see for myself.
STICKMAN: I want it to be FULL ON FRIGHTFEST. BRING THE FEAAAAARR.
LARRY: I mean, seeing Pennywise dance ALONE is worth ticket price. It's one of the funniest/disturbing moments you'll see in a theater. Not even kidding.
STICKMAN: Funsturbing is a good combo for any horror film.
MADHERO: Well, that about wraps it up. Join us next week as we tackle the cybernetic dystopia that is 2017..... oh sorry I meant 2049, Tom Cruise delivering COCAINE! and...... ponies?
LARRY: ....the fuck.
STICKMAN: My Little Pony Movie? We really are living in a dystopian nightmare reality. Night...maaaare?
This is really my first interaction with the rooster teeth website, forums and such. Trying to fit in by blending in but it is not as easy as I thought. My interpretations from the outside world have seemingly been misleading me throughout my whole adventure. Amongst friends and foes while exploring through the depths of what is known as Rooster Teeth, I have discovered the one secret that has lead to the success of becoming popular, they speak of it as a subscription, well worth buying for the sweet enjoyment of dramatic shows that are filled with hilarity. They call it First! I have recently obtained First and it is a wondrous spirit that lays within my soul for eternities to come. Shall I take the journey to double gold, some say its a path to misfortune and debt! I shall hold off for the quest for double gold and spend my days with my First membership. Now while we are travelling back from the ruins of the First membership there are no water fountains or sources, looks like ill have to drink my own piss.