Tongue Hands & Leaky Nips

Million Dollars, But...: Tongue Hands & Leaky Nips

Special guest Alan Ritchson joins Gavin and Burnie for a Lazer Team episode of Million Dollars, But...

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Comments (88)

  • Dr_Wondertainment FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold TEN THOUSAND YEARS

    8 months ago

    I have one question: what the fuck is wrong with Alan Ritchson? There has to be something, nobody's that perfect. Is he a serial killer? Diaper fetish? Addicted to eating toothpaste? 


    I'll figure you out someday you son of a bitch.

  • Hollow_Tim FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Dammit I'm so addicted to these. I just watched the entire first season and it's 4 AM and I still don't want to stop...

  • GreatScott88mph

    1 year ago

    I think I would stick empty milk bottles to my nips so I get free milk when I want, hell I'll even sell it and make even more of a profit

  • TheLemonEater

    1 year ago

    so what if the object is clothes for example, so you have to spend your life in the same shirt and you cant wash it

  • DrewBridger FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Drew Bridger

    1 year ago

    LOVE Million Dollars, But... - easily one of my favourite shows RT do! Also, there's a lot of creative use for the tongues for hands scenario. Imagine all the new flavour combinations you could so quickly come up with!

  • TripleTea FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    It's back. Rejoice.

  • Legit-Purpose FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Legit Purpose

    1 year ago

    I think I wanna play FTL now

  • SarahOlivier29 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Canadian Girl

    1 year ago

    I love the acting

  • NeilJones1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Brilliant episode, I think it's time to offer Mr ritchson a contract, he's got a great personality that would fit well in the company

  • Winst0n FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I've seen too much, still hilarious, but I've seen too much

  • ShandyWarrio FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Would love to see outtakes for this!

  • Queenagentnewtexy

    1 year ago

    so glad I only drink chocolate milk,

    but anyway, this was pretty good.


    I'm starting to think TeganWatson4, deannamasy145 and bettyrmartinez are just like the others who keep talking about the same thing over and over, and I checked

    their Profiles, they all seem have joined today.


    maybe they/Rooster Teeth will get that fixed soon or when they can, it may take a lot of work to fix that problem.


    and anyway that aside, this was interesting.

    if I had to have something stuck to me forever...........I would pick a life time supply of Hershey's Kisses.




  • Mattt__

    1 year ago

    For the first time I honestly don't think I'd choose to have any of those abilities. That's something new for me

  • NovaTwoFace

    1 year ago

    Huza to Alan for picking the weird one of the week! Having taste buds on your hands would be painful because of burns and sticking things to your body is just like... well damn that is just annoying but lactating forever is just like "WHY?! What have I done to my body?!"

  • Loki1993 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Was really worried this series got cancelled. Looking forward to seeing more in the future!

  • Loli_King4_Life

    1 year ago

    I was laughing until they said being alergic to cats, and cried a little on the inside b/c I thought of Monty. R.I.P. Monty.

    • thesaneking7 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      pretty sure it had nothing to do with cat allergies... medicine allergy

  • Sapphiet

    1 year ago

    Nope wouldn't take the money for any of those scenarios but found the Burnie feeding them funny XD

  • PookieMeanYe

    1 year ago

    The random sticky thing...

    It's a different thing..every.. day. Which means that even if you don't find it that day, it still counts.

    You'd never be safe. Think of the danger (for standing urinators) the object could be the fabric, the zipper, the tab, the underwear.. the genitals.

    Even in sensory deprivation- the object is water, the object is salt...

    Couldn't do it. The object glass. Tiny invisible slivers of glass.

    The object is influenza.

  • Gunmaster260 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I remember how tired they were when they filmed this.
    And how long ago they filmed this.

  • EvilPadre FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Pompous Ass

    1 year ago

    Damn! Alan just KILLS it in this one! (No surprises)

  • BLJY

    1 year ago

    Let it forever be known, that the first time I have ever seen Alan Ritchson act, he was sucking on Burnie's lactating nipples and fisting pasta.

    • Mattt__

      1 year ago

      You've never watched Blue Mountain State? He's pretty hilarious in that show

    • BLJY

      1 year ago

      I don't really watch TV or Movies, I'm more of an internet show kinda guy. But, I do want to see Lazer Team, now more than ever.

  • MonkeyHazard FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    People do realise this is a reupload right? It's not a new episode.

    • MonkeyHazard FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      EDIT: My bad, saw the episode really early at PAX, misremembered it as a proper episode.

  • HarrisonFoun FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Alan is a good looking man.

  • St_franz FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Joelaholic

    1 year ago

    I just really want to see Joel on this show. I get the feeling he would come up with something hilarious/horrifying XD

  • MKMatty FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Super happy this series is back!


    However, does it bug anyone else that it's called A Million Dollars, But... instead of One Million Dollars, But...?

    • Velric FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      It might be different in other parts of the world, but in Canada and the USA "a million dollars" is the most common way of saying that. No one would be surprised or put off if it was "One Million Dollars, But...?" though.

    • lolohannah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      I feel like A Million Dollars, But... rolls off the tongue better.

    • Panduh

      1 year ago

      As the others have said "A million dollars" is quite common. Plus "A million" just stands for one million, it's not a pluralized form or even an implied pluralized form. Just a common way of saying it, kind of rolls off the tongue a bit easier.

    • MKMatty FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      Freaking down voters, i was asking a legit question.


      I'm not sure if "A Million Dollars" is thw correct way or not, obviously its become the norm to a lot of people to imply that it means one. I'm just curious to know whether it's the correct way of saying it. It very well could be in the US, I have no idea.


      I was taught that one million dollars was the correct way, and that's probably why it does bug me. Not saying a million dollars is wrong, just different.


      Edit: I just googled it. A million and one million are both correct. Carry on.

  • Austenwb47 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I am so fucking glad this being brought back!

  • TomMaltby Tom

    1 year ago

    Alan is totally fucking hilarious

  • Typical_Cyanide FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Top quality, can't wait for next season.

  • onfreeman

    1 year ago

    no no yes best was the sticky stuff

  • sunnshine

    1 year ago

    the milk one, I'm literally crying

  • Antioxidant FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    so happy this series is back!


  • shiruko FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    God damn! they need to keep these coming. This is one of the best shows on roosterteeth

  • LucasGrimmGIA FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Lucas "Grimm"

    1 year ago

    I had to pause after the Lactation. I couldn't stop laughing after the "Burnie we're hungry."
    Also definite no on the hand-tastebuds. Washing Dishes or slipping on a wipe would suck!

    • flamespirits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      Cheap toilet paper... tears when you wipe -bleh!-

  • Tau_rd FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    alan's jacked

  • Doofalichous FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    One of the best ones by far! :D

  • ButlerKuro FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    The milk one actually got me to laugh til tears came out lol. This one was AMAZING!

  • Jimminy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I haven't laughed this hard in a long time, thanks guys for all your hard work! Happy holidays

  • DaddysLittleMonster FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold I Eat Shades Of Red

    1 year ago

    Alan is so twisted. In Free Play he came up with the idea to throw babies through hoops, now it's high pressure and high volume lactation for a million dollars. He's the best!!!

  • Fangtorn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I'd probably take the milk one, I don't meet a lot of crying babies, but definitely not the tasty hands or the random object. Like Alan said that's a lot of dick, and a million dollars isn't enough to be covered in a load of random crap for the rest of my life.

    • PacMonster FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      To be fair, it isn't random crap. It's a random object, but then only that kind of object. So as soon as you found out what that object was you could try to avoid touching it from then on.

    • evilest0din

      1 year ago

      also I'm sure they could remove whatever skin cells keep the object attached if necessary. but of course that's when you find out your object is surgical tools

    • NaicheervanA

      1 year ago

      @evilest0din If someone was to go to hospital to have their skin grafted to remove the "stuck" object, then they already know what that object would be, so the instruments wouldn't stick to them

  • Dakicus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    After watching that, I think I have a crush on Alan.

  • BByamete FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Bukkake

    1 year ago

    Good to have this series back.

  • QuillanJacob FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    That dude is the funniest guy, Blue Mountain State was the best, I wish he was in more movies but the fact he is in Lazer Team is the best

  • Soulzvid FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    awesome!

  • Silentmax FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    Lactation was in a previous video

    • mrgloves FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 year ago

      Thank you, I thought I was losing my mind for a minute.

  • Silentmax FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    i miss when Burnie and Gavin would say "lot of money"

    • WolfeyC FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Lone Wolf

      1 year ago

      Burnie said it this episode, after the first one

  • Jessieatscheese FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I've missed this show.

  • DrNayMen FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Prod. By Louie

    1 year ago

    Alan works so well with the gang! This makes me more excited for Lazer Team!

  • Alexnobaka FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    I MISSED THIS SO MUCH!

  • TheBarnAndOwl FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 year ago

    MDB yay

  • VoidFox gay robot

    1 year ago

    so happy that this is back :D