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1 month agolambency Insomniac
So long incoming rant about life. I have tried to do everything I could since my sister died, to help them the best I could. After my own car crash I've become a little out of sorts; my spine hurts a lot, my moods are gross but even then I still try to help them. Money I had from commission, cosplay, artist alley, they've all helped them in the end.
Mom has screamed at me saying I've done nothing to contribute to this family. I'm a burden and often has wished my sister was alive and that I was the one who died from a Heroin overdoes and tossed in a ditch. At my sister's funeral I tried to be strong from them and didn't cry at all until I was alone, at home, after. They cried, and I felt I had to be strong from them.
Dad just keeps saying they need money because we 'owe' them after we helped clean the house, the backyard, the pets, bought them food and helped them with vacations because I thought it would be a nice surprise for them.
Before my gallbladder remove, I was being yelled at by her for being a selfish person who doesn't help or who's just a burden to their house. It's broken me down a lot.
There was a peace for a while and before Bruce and I were planning, looking for apartments and what not, she continued to scream at me for being pathetic, a burden and that if art isn't doing anything for me then to hurry up and kill myself because no one wants me and they'd finally no longer have to deal with me.
On my birthday, it felt like the one time of year I could do something for me and instead Mom just screamed at me that I didn't have children and I'll just be a dried up cunt with no future. That still doing art was a waste of time and thought I was go in to medicine like her.
April this year, mom got drunk and barged in to my room when I was trying to finish commissions. She was so drunk.. She kept saying how she hated we were here, she hated me, she hated dad. She wanted to divorce dad after 49 years and wanted me to disappear. She kept screaming, she kept making me cry, I had to cover my eyes and she kept screaming I had to call 911 then she pretended like she didn't do anything and I was the one who started it when I was hidden and cowering in a corner.
They left, she and I didn't speak. She had her problems with Alzheimer's and I tried to help to all my ability. Even with her yelling to me I wanted to help. LVL UP and Fanime were nice vacations but dad kept calling to make sure I really was there
RTX Came along and I was so happy to see people even if they didn't enjoy my company. I was just so happy to see familiar friendly faces after being locked away for months. I was happy to be so far away, see so many kind people and familiar faces but the day after the art Auction when we were at lunch I had a call that I took and it was her. She cursed me, yelled at me and was pissed because I didn't come by to wish dad a happy birthday. Dad (and really SHE) knew I was in Texas for this big thing. They knew I was going to be busy but she called anyways to yell at me about being a terrible daughter for not saying happy birthday when I was running around all day
Once I came home from RTX I spent a week relaxing and helping organize our new apartment. When I took a nap, my phone went off but I saw there was a message so I listened thinking dad needed something. No. It was just my mom telling me they want no responsibility for me, this was no longer my home, never come back, they never want to take care of me again, they never want to see me again. Dad had no she called. But I just stared in disbelief at my phone like...what did I do? Why am I that bad of a person?
Mom took a rather bad injury, recently. Even with just trying to take care of their pets while she was gone, the instant she found out I was in the house she nearly burnt the place down, screaming I'm unwelcome and wanting Kristy back instead. Since then I've been cut off from my family.
I've lost motivation for everything. Art, cosplay, happiness and, sadly, the will to just live completely. We have 10$ to our name every month because of bills we have to pay for which, is the adult thing to do. That leaves us with little food sometimes but we try to make sure. I'm still trying to get used to no longer hearing from my dad. Every night I'm in tears. Every day I'm just sad. My birth mother didn't want me so she threw me away then current-mom and dad adopted me. and now have thrown me away.
I love my friends, I really do but everything still hurts so much.I sitll doodle and I still draw but after Rooster Teeth has stolen so many of my ideas, ignored me at every plea for what I did wrong or why they won't look at my resume or WHY they take my ideas I'm met with silence. So...game over. They win. I'm clearly not human or a 'community; member if they just ignore me and take my work for their "inspiration" . I won't be doing designs inspired by them only to have stolen anymore and will focus attention elsewhere.
I'm keeping my profile open and up until RWBY Vol5 ends then I will probably disable it along with all my 'art' I have here. Thank you so much for you support even if I don't deserve it and I wish you all the best. Thank you for sticking with me this long.
I apologize, there was one thing I meant to write in that I forgot to.
When my mom was yelling at me, yelling at my dad, abusing him and beating
him up, we were both to the point of tears and anger to tell her to
Once we told her to stop, we told her how it made us feel and how
terrible it was for her to even DO something like that…. All she did
was laugh. Drunken laughter, 'haha bullshit what are you going to do?
Nothing" laughter. That still haunts me with how she just so easily
LAUGHED off the fact we were crying. When I slipped and fell the 2nd
time after LVL UP an dhad to go to the ER, when I fell and bashed my
head, enough to hear a crack, she just laughed at me and said “serves
you right” when I had just been standing there feeding the bird. Dad and
Bruce came to my rescue and helped me. Once EMT showed up, she
pretended she was worried and tried to take credit for helping me. I’m
just…still really haunted by those laughs of hers…I hate it. I hate
it so much.
Anyways, please stay safe, friends
All my heart and love.
2 months agolambency Insomniac
My mother is currently entering her later stages of Alzheimers and we’re getting more and more worried.
I’ve moved away at their request but I recently went back to visit them and help move some of my stuff out while also helping to clean their house up to put on the market.
When I arrived it was…shambles. The carpets didn’t look clean, the dust was everywhere, thinks hadn’t been touched, food in the fridge was moldy, mail and bills were piled up so high, and mom was just…staring off. She wasn’t there at all.
Dad had tried but he recently had a stroke and I don’t want him to have to suffer another one… They’ve pretty much just given up and I don’t know if this is their form of suicide .
I can’t afford to help them. SoCal is expensive and right now we’re living from what little paycheck to paycheck which means there are nights we don’t eat.
So I’m opening commissions and donations in desperation and I’m so sorry to ask when people have it so much worse but I’m nearing my own end and want to just cry every night. I want my mom back even if she had been a mean cunt, I never want to see anyone have to go through the stages of Alzheimer that she’s going through.
Above are samples I have created: Yes, I’m marketing towards RWBY but shirts will be a ONE TIME SALE ONLY for whoever commissions it. They will not be for a mass production sale just a ONE TIME.
So please, thank you, and I hope everyone takes care of themselves.
For more art pieces and samples, please check out my site www.lambency.net
3 months agolambency Insomniac
Just wanted to post real quick to say I'll be at RTX this year! Please feel free to stop by our Art Jam, Friday night. No badge needed and you don't have to be an artist! You can stop by and chat with fans and artists and just have a nice time meeting people.
I'll be at the RT SideQuest Charity Auction this year, too! It'll be my fourth year so I have four special bundles all in one you can bid on. I hope to see you there if you're going
I'll be cosplaying an original design I did for Coco Adel and I'll also be Kali Belladonna while at RTX.
See you in Austin!
4 months agolambency Insomniac
Only three done but I've been wanting to do more and more with these. I love designing Grimm as Heraldic animal-beasts.
If you like them, please consider donating to soundninjakin[at]gmail[dot]com so I can continue making different kind of art and met everyone at RTX 17 with a chance to get stickers and buttons.
4 months agolambency Insomniac
I will be having a few pieces in the RTX SideQuest Charity Auction again this year so I hope I'll be able to see you!
I just moved in to a new place and so far it's going okay.
Prior to my move I ended up taking a pretty bad fall at LVLUP Expo but I thought I was alright. When I came back to California a couple days after, I ended up passing out and bashed my head on the ground enough they called the ambulance and taken to the hospital. Apparently I had a minor concussion that I didn't know about so going on with life like nothing was wrong was pretty bad. I also re-ripped the muscle in my neck. Once they x-rayed my neck to check my concussion they also found that I have bone spurs growing off my neck, which are kind of like spikes of calcium that grow. Eventually I will have to have surgery to get those removed.
While at the hospital they took blood and did tests and found out I tested positive for Anemia but also I have an overly rapid heartbeat that's also irregular which helps to explain why my pulse is always been high. The norm is about 80 Beats per minute and mine boarders around 120-130. That, I'm afraid, was not covered by my medical insurance.
So I had to pay for the heart treatments out of pocket which meant, there went my RTX money to get a flight.
If anyone would like to idk, reserve a commission spot after I get back or even donate, every every little bit will be greatly appreciated and help so much. I also still have a very limited stock left on my charms so thank you everyone who has bought them! I'm so glad you like them and I'll be working on the Kings of Cards with Team SSNN next to go with RWBY.
If you're alright with donating, my email paypal is soundninjakin[at]gmail[dot]com. I'd still very very VERY much love to go to RTX to see everyone even if it might be my last, I'm not sure, I'm afraid. But I still very much would love to go after this hectic year.
Thank you so much, I miss everyone and I will hopefully be updating with new art and more once I've settled in to my new place and away from the abusive household I was able to get out of thanks to everyone's support and encouragement.
5 months agolambency Insomniac
I have stock left over from LVLUP Expo of my Acrylic charms for my Queen of the Cards with Team RWBY series in preorder right now.
Queen of Hearts Ruby Rose
Queen of Diamonds Weiss Schnee
Queen of Clubs Blake Belladonna
Queen of Spades Yang Xiao Long
Acrylic charms are 1.5inch with a rope attachment great as small trinkets for phones, 3DS or anything you’d like to show your little charms off.
Comes with a protective seal on top that will come off whenever you’d like it to once you receive it.
Thank you so much for the positive feedback and please know the money goes towards helping with maintaining an apartment now that I am out of an abusive household. So thank you, thank you.
Shipments start going out June 4th and supplies are limited.
Thank you so much to everyone for all your kind words and inspiration!
The link to my store can be found here: http://tofudelight.storenvy.com/products/20036834-team-rwby-queen-of-the-cards
5 months agolambency Insomniac
A little better image of my charms that I put with my Emblem keychains and with the metal weapon keychains that you can find on the Rooster Teeth store.
Acrylic Charms and Emblem Keychains will be available at LVL UP Expo. The profit goes to helping pay with rent now that I’m out of an abusive household and living on my own which I’m very grateful to everyone for their help.
I hope to see you at LVL UP!
I had a wonderful time designing the charms along with the outfits for each girl. I'll probably come out with more detailed looks of their dresses after the convention.
5 months agolambency Insomniac
Hey guys. I'll be heading out to Vegas this week to be in the Artist Alley with friends! I'll have some other prints along with some RWBY Prints and acrylic special charms of their Queen of the Cards series I did.
Please feel free to drop by and say hello! I'd love to see you!
Previews of some of the things I'll be having and sketches.
I'll also be taking special Shikishi board on sight commissions.
Can't wait to see everyone!
Not only the shikishi boards, I'll also be doing on sight sketch commissions as well.
That's it for preview for now.Super excited and please stop by to say hi! All the money really helps with affording my new apartment and medical bills for kidney ultrasounds since I've started developing kidney stones. So thank you so much everyone!
6 months agolambency Insomniac
My birthday was March 10th and Bruce surprised me by saying we could go to Wondercon for a day but also to see friends, too! I was really excited cause I think i've only been to wondercon like, once maybe.
Dressed up as Kali Belladonna and my little black kitty, Koko had no idea what to think.
When we got there I took a bunch of selfies with some amazing people and RWBY cosplayers. My happiness was meeting Sneaky Zebra, a fantastic Cosplay Music Video group. Every time I sew, their videos and music are pretty much my soundtracks.
And last. AMAZING Reinhardts disasembling themselves so they can get back to wherever they were going. It was insane to see how huge they were and their hammers were almost taller than my husband who is 6'1. Absolutely amazing.
BattleNet is lambency#11275 and I'm very addicted to Overwatch ATM.
Twitter: @ CorrinForte
twitch channel: tofudelightgaming
the Brotherhood of Outcast
IB FAN FAVOURITE
Ladies of Rooster Teeth
Artists for commission
Rooster Teeth Pun Society
Various cosplay I've done throughout the years.
Various crafts I've done for Artist Alley and Homestuck as Hussie's Third party merchant.
Other various art stuff I've done. Gasp, something other than RWBY yay!
Old arts that I've updated in my main gallery.
Using a precious image, I'm going the steps I usually take to finish a drawing.
RWBY Tarot Cards
Keeping all the finished images of my ongoing RWBY Tarot Card Project in here!
Adam and Joel's Adventures [sometimes with other Adam]
Collection of one-two-three-or-four-koma comics of Adam and Joel[and sometmes other Adam]'s adventures in games.
A folder for my Ragnarok Online RWBY Crossover art.
Simplistic styles but putting them in an album all together.
RWBY Seasonal Muses
Everything I've used my Seasonal Muses image for.
These are works others have asked of me and have commissioned me. All OC's belong to their rightful owner, please do not use without their permission. If you'd like to commission me, feel free to send me a message!
Faux RWBY Merchandise
For the fake merchandise I make for either myself or for design purpose.
Original characters I've designed for a team named Team AMMO.
Vol 4 Weiss
The Fall Maiden
Volume 4 is almost here! I love long-hair Nora. Doodle and more practice with this new sort of detail style I’m trying to work out.
Penny doodle trying to get a feel for a newish coloring style.
Ruby Volume 4
Are you ready for RWBY Volume 4?
I still have many feelings about Yang. This was done as a post-con-depression when I came back from RTX. Pouring one out to my homies.
Doodle of Pyrrha. I was so happy to see Jen Brown at RTX and while I wanted to go say hi, I was a little too nervous/afraid/dumb sdijfod. Also when I finally got the courage to, I ended up running right in to a table so.. kind of just stood there in my shame. So I did a doodle instead? idk how that fits in here but here it is.
Malachite twins re-imagined
Malachite Twins alternate outfits I designed to somewhat correspond with mirzers ‘ gorgeous designs for the antagonists. I just want to be as great as my senpai in art. Codename: Stardust twins These were done for myself and twitter: _Evea to cosplay at RTX 2016. Also please check out and look how beautiful Mirzer’s art is.
Raven dress breakdown
I had a request for a breakdown for Raven’s dress for cosplay purpose. I used one the canon model as a base then did everything atop of that. Please know if you do like the dresses and want to cosplay them, PLEASE by all means! I’d love to see them! If you need a breakdown too, I’m more than happy to scribble one up. I’m not a huge fabric expert so feel free to use fabrics you think might be better as well as methods.
Amber card to go with the others.
Raven Branwen doodle in a fancy dress to go with the loads of others I’ve done.
Made an attire for Ciel from my Simplicity series. This was a request from a duo that wanted to cosplay Penny and Ciel so I did one for her.
Overwatch - Mei
doodle of Mei from Overwatch cause I need the gaaammmeeee now.